Episode 7 - Chapter 33

“Ew can't do that,” Rocknipples replies, his voice thick with sadness.

“Of course we can,” the Guide insists, “We're from the Peacock Court, we can do anything. Just as soon as we finish this inspection, its back to your bridge you go.”

“Really?” the troll asks excitedly, “Av they rebuilt it?”

“It collapsed?” the Guide asks.

“They tore it down!”

“Why would they do that, I wonder?” Raven inquires.

“Well they av to,” Stonedildo tells them, “It's part of the conscriptshun.”

“I'm sorry,” Raven responds, “I don't understand.”

“It's so we'll do as we're told. They keep the foundations as, wot did they call it, inshoe'erance. If we don't do as we're told they say they'll smash em to tiny pieces.”

Episode 7 - Chapter 32

“Just inspecting,” Raven replies with the first thing he can think of.

“Health and safety, all that,” the Guide chimes in, “You can never be too careful.”

“Elf and Safe Tea?” the troll asks. “Ew as dangeroush tea? And there 'asn't been an elf sheen round these parts for quite shum time.”

“That's right,” they hear Stonedildo confirm. “If there 'ad, they'd be in my pot chop chop.”

“Mmmm, elf....” Rocknipples salivates, “Avn't ad a bit of elf in ages. Wot ur ew inspectin' for?”

“Just routine,” Raven tells him, “All part of the process.”

“Wot processh?”

“For your repatriation,” Raven taps a wall. “Ah yes, all seems to be in order.”

“Repatriwhat?” the troll inquires.

“Repatriation,” Raven confirms, “Getting you two back to your lovely bridge.”

Episode 7 - Chapter 31

As Raven pulls the door closed behind him, he finds himself engulfed by complete and total darkness. The Guide is close beside him, too close in fact as Raven can feel his elbows digging at his ribs.

“Give a chap a bit of space, would you?” he says.

“I regret to inform you that that won't be possible at this time,” comes the Guide's muffled reply.

“Why's that?” Raven enquires sharply.

“Because I'm pushed against the wall of this tiny compartment you've seen fit to bring us to.”

“Where are we then?”

“How should I know?” the Guide replies with disdain.

“Well, you are supposed to be the guide.”

“You're the one wielding the chalk!”

“'Ere,” the voice of Rocknipples booms all around them, “Wot ur you two doin' in there?”

Episode 7 - Chapter 30

“Do you mean to tell us,” my husband asked, “That the eruption of Mount Vesuvius was caused by the Forest? An entire Roman city?”

“I do,” Oak replied darkly.

“Good god man,” Edward exclaimed, “That's tantamount to genocide. Mass murder at the very least!”

Oak fixed him in that cold steel gaze of his. “Your species has some funny ideas about death. Do you call it mass murder when you decide the badgers need culling? Was it genocide when the last of the Siberian tigers met its end.” He paused for a moment, scratched at his chin purposefully. “No,” he continued, “I didn't think so.”

“What could possibly have happened in Pompeii to warrant such a barbaric act,” I asked tentatively.

He turned those dark eyes to me then. “Let us say that certain...radical...ideas took hold, and leave it at that.”

Episode 7 - Chapter 29

No sooner than the thought has crossed his lips, the hideous cacophony begin to abate. As the volume decreases, a spotlight appears amidst the gloom, highlighting a handsome, noble looking man wearing a ripped, tattered ball gown with badly applied make-up smeared across lips and cheeks. A microphone descends from the dark ceiling above, which the man quickly grabs before the man extends his arms as if to embrace the adulation of the jubilant crowd.

Several minutes pass, the crowd cheering their approval, the man smiling, nodding, almost drinking their applause as nourishment before silencing the room with a single finger touched to his lips.

“My lords and ladies,” he declares, bringing the microphone close to his lips, “You are all most welcome...” he pauses for a moment, allowing the hushed room to hang on his words, before continuing “...To the Imposters Parade!”

Episode 7 - Chapter 28

It's the atmosphere he notices first. While moments ago it was warm with a summer breeze keeping the air fresh, suddenly its thick and humid, full of sweat and sex. There's noise too. At first it sounds like someone's tuning an old analogue radio, turned up to full volume. But that soon gives way to the steady, relentless beat of a drum machine.

When he opens his eyes he's blinded by white light, a panorama of frozen writhing bodies before him. Flash, and the bodies jump to new contortions. Flash, and they change again. It takes him a moment to realise he's looking at a dance floor, bathed in strobe lighting, the panorama moving in a series of staccato snapshots.

“Good grief,” he mutters to himself, “I've brought myself to a rave.”

Episode 7 - Chapter 27

The waiter had taken an age to come, Robert remembers, and even when he did they'd had trouble explaining what they wanted.

“You always attract the slow dim ones,” she'd joked.

“Well,” he'd replied, “They say opposites do attract.”

They'd laughed again at this, and Robert remembers just how much he knew he loved this woman, right there in that moment. He allows himself to wallow in that memory as he takes a second cautious step forward, followed quickly by a third.

An unexpected wind brushes across his face, causing a darkness to occupy this memory. This is the moment that the photograph was taken, the one that they found in the box. A panic rips through Robert's chest as he takes a fourth step and he senses the air around him changing.

Episode 7 - Chapter 26

Robert takes a few steps forward and opens his eyes. He's not sure what he's expecting to see, but he's slapped with disappointment when he finds he's still in the meadow.

“No, no, no,” Tom shimmers before him, “You really have to surrender yourself to your feelings. Try again.”

Once more Robert closes his eyes, remembering their honeymoon.

“Concentrate on one moment,” Tom says, “On how you felt in that moment.”

They were in a bar, Robert remembers, just at the end of the first week. By that time they'd been living together for a couple of years, but they'd never had the chance or money to go on holiday together. Now here they were, at the end of the perfect week, with another perfect week to come. They both tripped over each others words in their rush to express that, which made them laugh.

“Get that waiter to take a photograph,” she'd said, “I want to remember this moment forever.”

In the meadow, Robert takes a step forward.

Episode 7 - Chapter 25

“Highly unlikely?” Robert exclaims, “That means you don't know, which means that she could be. We have to find her, now.”

“Which is what we shall endeavour to do,” Tom shimmers with green tints, “Just as soon as you stop panicking about the unknown. Take a deep breath or two and calm yourself.”

Robert concentrates on taking deep breaths for the next few moments. “Okay,” he says once his heart has stopped racing, “What do we do?”

“You must close your eyes,” Tom tells him, “Close your eyes and think of your wife. What she means to you, how you feel about her, her smile. Focus on your best memories of being with her.”

Robert follows the instructions, concentrating on the honeymoon they've just returned from.

“Now when you're ready,” Tom continues, “Start to walk forward.”

Episode 7 - Chapter 24

“Why?” Robert asks, “Is there a problem?”

“Well the phone should have worked,” Tom tells him, “That it didn't means that she's probably in a protected space.”

“What kind of protected space?” Robert asks cautiously.

“I don't want this to worry you,” Tom says, as a wave of blue washes through him, “But it's likely she's in the court of one of the Fears.”

“How could that not worry me?” Robert explodes.

“Because no harm can come to her,” Tom explains, “She's just as powerful as you. She might be contained, but it's highly unlikely she's been hurt.”

Episode 7 - Chapter 23

“It's ringing,” Robert pronounces again, “C'mon Fi, pick up.”

The phone rings and rings, but eventually Robert is forced to accept that no one is going to answer.

“What happened?” Tom inquires, more as a comfort question than actually needing to know.

“It just keeps ringing,” Tom replies.

“No voice mail or recorded message?”

“No, just ringing.”

“Hmmm,” Tom sparkles in consideration, a brownish hue sweeping through his cloud. “Interesting. Maybe you should try again.”

Robert does as he's told, but the result is the same: endless ringing and no answer.

“What does it mean?” Robert asks in desperation.

“It means,” Tom replies, “That we'll have to try something else to find your wife.”

Episode 7 - Chapter 22

Robert dials his wife's number hurriedly, impatient to speak to her. “C'mon, c'mon,” he mutters as he waits for the line to connect, but it doesn't and he finds himself stood there, listening to static. After a few moments he takes the phone from his ear and glowers at it, realising only then that in his haste he'd dialled the wrong number. For his second attempt he is much more cautious, saying each number as he pushes the button, deliberately taking his time. Once he's sure he's got the right number he presses the dial key and slowly brings the phone to his ear. Again all he hears is static. His frustration is about to boil over when white noise gives way to a ringing tone.

“Finally,” he says to Tom, “It's ringing.”

Episode 7 - Chapter 21

After a considerable amount and training, Tom finally pronounces Robert “Ready to face the music of the Fears.” How much time has passed Robert really couldn't say, as there is no day or night in the meadow, just endless sunshine.

“So where do we start?” Robert asks.

“You came into the Weave to find your wife and this Raven creature,” Tom replies, “That would be as good a place as any.”

“Okay,” Robert says, full of enthusiasm, “How do we do that?”

“How would you find your wife out there, in the Warp?”

“Well I'd start by ringing her.”

“Then that's what you'll do here.”

“But I haven't got a...” Robert's words stumble to a halt as realisation sinks in. “Oh yeah, right,” he says, pulling a phone from his pocket.

Episode 7 - Chapter 20

“Lives are not important to the Forest,” Oak continued, “But species are. Balance is. Besides which, if you'd been paying attention to my words, not just listening with your emotions, you'd have heard me say the plan is to evacuate the area. Most of the unique fauna will already have gone. Agents of the Forest, in some disguise or other, will be going through the village, informing the residents that they will not be safe if they remain.”

“But all that damage,” my wife replied, “All those lives ruined. They'll all have to start from scratch.”

“I think they would be happy to be alive, were they to know the truth. And you people have insurance policies, don't you? The people of Pompeii were not so lucky, and the Forest was far less forgiving in those days.”

Episode 7 - Chapter 19

“Now,” the Angel says, turning to Larry, Curly and Mo. “How do you account for your complete and utter failure?”

“We are most dreadfully apologetic,” they reply, “But m'lady proved to be more wilful than you led us to believe...”

“You're blaming me!” There is a quiet rage in the Angel's declaration, Fiona realises he's clenching his fists. “She's managed to offend one of my... siblings, all but destroy Escher's maze, met the sandman who brought her to us and break one of the archetypes and it's my fault?”

The three midgets cower before his fury.

“We...we...we...” they stammer.

“Please,” Fiona interrupts, “I did those things, not them. Promise me no harm will befall them.”

  

Episode 7 - Chapter 18

“Worse!” Fiona exclaims. “You mean harm me?”

She looks at the bear. “Poor blind teddy,” it mumbles, only to be kicked by a guard in reply. It lets out a squawk of pain, causing Fiona to shout “Stop!”

The guard freezes, unable to move.

“And will someone answer that damn phone,” she says, “The noise is driving me spare.”

“What phone?” the Angel asks, licking his lips in delight. “I can't hear a phone.” He clicks his fingers at the guard, life and movement flooding back into his body. At the same moment the ringing stops.

“What is it you want with me?” Fiona asks, suddenly very wary.

“We'll get to that in due course,” the Angel replies, “But first I must deal with these useless specimens.”

Episode 7 - Chapter 17

“Well, those three,” the Angel gestures towards the repentant looking comedy trio, “They are servants of this court, tasked to keep you out of trouble until you were ready to come here. A task, I might add, that they completely failed.”

Fiona looks at them sharply. “You lied to me?” she asks. “Right from the outset, you were lying to me?”

The phone continues to ring in her ears, making it hard for her to concentrate.

“We must apologise, m'lady,” they reply as one, “It was the...”

“Enough!” the Angel interrupts. “There will be time for excuses soon enough.”

“What about the Captain?” Fiona asks, “Does he work for you too?”

“No. That,” he points to the bear, “That is a spy from another court, sent at the very least to keep track of you. Or maybe worse.”

Episode 7 - Chapter 16

A hubbub sweeps through the library, occasionally peppered with stifled giggles, as Larry, Curly and Mo make their way toward the Angel and Fiona. Behind them, they are dragging an average looking teddy bear, not much smaller than they, its eyes missing, tethered with a battered dog lead.

“You leave my friends alone,” Fiona warns, though she feels a little distracted by the sound of the phone getting louder. “They've looked after me in this ridiculous place.”

“Ah my dear,” the Angel replies, “Not everything is as it seems.”

As he speaks, the three midgets bow their heads, shifting from one foot to another, obviously in great discomfort.

“Nothing in this place is as it seems,” Fiona says, suddenly very tense. “Would you like to try being a bit more specific?”

Episode 7 - Chapter 15

“Refreshments!” The Angel declares, “We must have refreshments. As my honoured guest, what would the good lady like to drink?”

“I could kill for a large scotch,” Fiona replies.

“You should be careful how you phrase such things. Untoward events tend to follow the loose tongues of wake walkers, especially one with your kind of power.”

“I'm sorry,” Fiona says, frowning in confusion, “I don't understand.” Somewhere in the distance she can hear a phone begin to ring.

“Well,” the Angel tells her, “It would be a tragedy if somebody really did die just so you could drink.”

The Angel clicks his fingers high above his head and a genteel looking waiter appears at Fiona's side, serving her whisky.

“But wait,” the Angel says before she can taste a drop, “Our company is incomplete. Where are the threefold man and that wretched, confused bear?”

Episode 7 - Chapter 14

“No, no, no,” the Angel says with frustration, “There's no need for overkill.” He looks directly at Fiona. “You'd think that getting good staff would be easy in a place where everything is possible,” he says with a wink, “But you'd be surprised by just how untrue that actually is.”

“One guard will do,” he turns away, speaking to the room in general, “And the blade can be sheathed. Now...” he turns back on his heels and bows deeply. “I am delighted to welcome the Lady Fiona to the Peacock Court, and offer her all that we have in return for her trouble.”

“And that includes an armed guard, does it?” Fiona asks.

“My dear,” comes the reply, “He's for your safety just as much as mine.”

Episode 7 - Chapter 13

“Unhand me at once!” Fiona demands. “Let me go!” To her surprise, the hands release their grip the moment she finishes speaking. For a second she hangs in the air, almost cartoon like, before gravity takes over and she begins to fall.

“No,” the Peacock Angel says quietly, snapping his fingers at a comfy looking arm chair. The chair slides across the library floor to catch Fiona where she drops.

“My, my,” he continues, stroking his chin. “I knew you'd have power, but this...” He waves his hands towards her. “I suppose we'll have to do this the traditional way,” he says with a hint of disappointment. “Guards!”

Before Fiona realises what's happening, she is surrounded by four very large men in uniform, all with very sharp looking swords pointed at her.

Episode 7 - Chapter 12

“Wait 'til you see what the left can do,” Fiona replies, preparing to strike again, when she realises that her left arm is being restrained by a hand. There is no body, or creature of any kind, attached to the hand, it's just there. Looking closely, she sees that it's propelled by two tiny little wings on either side of the stump of the wrist.

“I don't think so,” the Angel says. “Once, well some might say I deserved it. But not twice, not in my court, surrounded by all these fine ideas. Now, will you take a seat?”

A second disembodied hand grabs her right arm, two more take her feet, and suddenly she's being lifted off the ground, into a seated position, with more hands moving to support her.

Episode 7 - Chapter 11

As the crack of her blow to the Peacock Angel's face echoes away to a deathly silence, Fiona realises they are not alone. All around the library are courtiers, all frozen in horror at what they've just witnessed, all staring at her. She looks at them, looking at her, their eyes not daring to flick towards the Angel. She sees the terror in those eyes as the tension in the room thickens and congeals like ageing gravy...

...Only to be washed away by the roaring laughter of the Angel himself, bent double in mirth.

“Well now, my dear,” he says, “I suppose I should have expected that. You have, how is it that you put it? Oh yes, you have a mean right hook.”

Episode 7 - Chapter 10

“But that's terrible,” I said when Oak had finished speaking. “You can't just wash away a whole village because of some... some... imagined problem. There are lives at risk, people will die. Don't you care about that?”

“What I care about,” Oak replied, “Has little bearing on the situation. People die every day. In fact people die every second. Now wait a moment, if you please.”

“But...” I began, to be answered with a raised eyebrow which shut me up.

“There,” he said, a second later. “Two people died in that moment alone, would you stop those deaths? Would you mourn those deaths.”

“Who?” I demanded, “Who died, and how?”

“A middle aged banker in Austen, Texas, suffered a massive coronary overload, and a six year old in Nigeria was taken by an infection caused by the absence of clean water.”

“That's different, and you know it. What the Forest is doing is murder.”

“No, Mary, it isn't,” he said. “Death is a natural part of the Warp, the Forest merely turns it to its own advantage.”

Episode 7 - Chapter 9

“I bet you weren't always called Rocknipples,” Raven whispers to the troll as it draws him closer. In his pocket, his fingers find the chalk.

“No,” the troll replies, “Dey gave me new name when dey conscripded us.”

“So what was your name before that?” Raven gently drags the chalk across the troll's chest.

“Bert,” the troll tells him. “Ah was Bert, an' he was Ernie.”

“And you had a bridge? Tell me about your bridge.” As he talks, Raven continues to add lines until there is a chalk square on the troll's chest.

“Id was lobely,” Rocknipples says, getting a little misty eyed. “Id was all rickedy and broken down, not safe to cross at all, even if we wasn't underneath.”

“Sounds lovely,” Raven whispers, drawing a handle inside the box. “Can't wait to see it.” He turns the handle, shouting “Now” to the guide. As the door opens, the troll steps back with surprise, loosening his grip on Raven, who wriggles free. Climbing halfway through the door, Raven turns to grab the guide's hand, pulling him in and slamming the hatch behind them.