Episode 6 - Chapter 34

“There's this place, of course,” Edward tapped the map over our house, and a fourth spot materialised. “Alice French and all that. Then over here is Anston Mound.”

“Mmm?” Oak responded, as a fifth spot popped up.

“Not really folklore,” I continued, “But there were stocks and gallows there until the seventeenth century. The mound is in the centre of a large field, visible from all sides, so was perfect for public executions.”

“There's a tree there now, isn't there?” Oak asked.

“Yes, another lord wanted to put something living in the place that had seen so much death. How did you know?”

“A man accused of murder hung himself from its branches an hour ago. He was innocent.”

Episode 6 - Chapter 33

“Oh my word,” I said, “The poor things.”

“Indeed,” Oak replied, “So this Greenteeth creature could well be relevant. Continue.”

Edward tapped the map again. “Right here there's a stone circle known as the Devil's Claw.”

A third spot appeared.

“Why, I wonder,” Oak pondered, “Does there always have to be something of the Devil's in every parish?”

“A Victorian aristocrat wondered the same thing.” Edward was in his element now, being able to show off his research. “He took offence at having something so sacrilegious on his land,” Edward continued. “The stones used to stand around twelve feet tall but now they're just boulders. He ordered them torn down, but they proved harder to shift than he reckoned on, drove him doo-lally in the end, died in an asylum. There's not somebody there now with a sledgehammer is there?”

“What? No,” Oak replied, “But there is a chap shouting at the sky about making a deal.”

Episode 6 - Chapter 32

“That doesn't seems very likely,” I said, “Old English bears little relation to our modern tongue. Did he know it before his coma?”

“He was a builder,” Oak replied, “So it would seem unlikely.”

“Well that's certainly quite...”

“Save your astonishment,” Oak interrupted, “I believe it will be needed later. Continue with the map.”

“Just there,” I said, pointing at the bend of the river as it makes a horseshoe. “There are a number of drownings there attributed to Jenny Greenteeth.” A second dark spot appeared on the map. “But that's a Yorkshire tale really, so probably not relevant.”

“Two children,” Oak said matter of factly, “Playing there this evening, slipped on the rocks and fell. One of them has cracked their head. Both are hysterical about some green haired monster that's trying to get them.”

Episode 6 - Chapter 31

“Now then,” Oak said to my husband once the map had been brought up to date. “I want you to point to all the places on this map that are significant, in terms of legend and folklore.”

“Well,” Edward replied, leaning over the map to scrutinise it, tapping it with his finger. “The hospital there was built on ground that was once known as Arthur's Rest.”

A dark spot appeared on the map where his finger had been.

“Arthur's Rest?” Oak inquired.

“Yes. The legend has it that his army camped there on their way to Mount Badon, where he fought his final battle.”

“Interesting,” Oak replied, rubbing his chin in thought. “Two hours ago, a man who has been catatonic for three years woke up and claimed he was King Arthur, in Old English.”

Episode 6 - Chapter 30

“But that's just it, isn't it?” Robert demands, “I don't know how.”

“And the field,” Tom replies, “Was meant to keep you from finding out, by keeping you locked up in an environment that the Fears control.”

“Why would they do that?”

“As I said, if you're allowed to discover your power, you can stand up to them. They're up to something with your wife and the bird, the last thing they'll want is you interfering.”

“And that thing you said earlier, about you not being a person?” Robert asks.

“As far as I know,” replies Tom, “There are only two people actually in the Weave, yourself and your wife, everything else is.... ideas with personality. Now, we really should get to your training.”

Episode 6 - Chapter 29

“Well?” Fiona demands, “Have you seen me before?”

“Teenage boy?” the pirate interjects, “Preferably European?”

“I didn't mean nothing by it,” the sandman protests, “Don't know why I said it. I've got a customer here, leave me alone. Now sir,” he turns his back on Fiona to address the pirate, “What kind of age were you looking for? I've a thirteen, a fourteen and a seventeen.”

“Thirteen would be perfect,” replies the pirate. How much...”

“You will be quiet,” Fiona cuts the pirate off. His mouth keeps moving but there's no sound, which brings a look of horror to his face. “And you,” she says to the sandman, “You do not turn your back on me,” Fiona declares, “You will tell me if you've seen me before.”

The sandman turns, obviously against his will, panic and terror fighting for control of his eyes. “One... once or twice” he stammers, then gestures at the harbour, “We all have, you fetch a pretty penny when you're dreaming.”

Episode 6 - Chapter 28

“You know,” continues the sandman, “Like in the song. Though we bring the dreamers to the dream, rather than the other way round.” He cackles at the thought as he finishes the sentence.

“Excuse me,” says a man dressed in pirate rags, “Do you have any teenage boys?”

“Hang on,” Fiona says, “Why did you say that? Of course you've never seen me before, so why would you mention it? Have you seen me before?”

“I do apologise,” the pirate says, “But a teenage boy? Sorry to just butt in like this, in a bit of a rush. I'm late to a party and my usual dreamer has had far too much coffee. I need a teenage boy for a high seas adventure with a sour twist.”

“You can just wait your turn,” Fiona tells him pointedly, “This man has some questions to answer.”

Episode 6 - Chapter 27

“Fresh Dreamers!” The dock worker shouts again, then glances at Fiona. “What about you luv, a fresh dreamer or two for your pleasure this evening?”

“What use do you think I'd have for a dreamer?” Fiona asks, “I wouldn't know what do do with it.”

The worker leans forward, peering at her curiosity. Something clicks in his mind, a flicker of recognition maybe, and panic fills his face. “I'm sorry,” he gasps, “I didn't realise, wasn't paying attention, sorry. I'll put them all back.”

“Whatever,” Fiona says, “Do as you please. But don't be offering me things I don't need.”

“O' course, your ladyship,” the worker says, “Stupid of me to ask. Fine lady like yerself, probably had more than plenty of dreams of your own.”

“I'm sorry,” Fiona retorts, “What do you mean by that?”

The worker catches a frown from Strauss. “Nothing,” he declares, “Nothing at all. I've never seen you before in my life, I'm just a lowly sandman.”

Episode 5 - Chapter 26

“What...” Fiona stammers, taken aback by this strange panorama, “What is all this?”

“Fresh dreamers,” one of the dock workers begins to shout, plying his wares. “Fresh dreamers! Straight off the boat!”

“This, m'lady,” Strauss replies, “Is the Harbour. These sailors venture out into the Ocean of Dreamers to catch the minds of those that sleep in the Warp, then sell them here on the quay to whichever of the embodiments will pay the most.”

“Okay,” Fiona says cautiously, “Why? Surely when the dreamer wakes up, they just disappear.”

“True,” Strauss confirms, “But in the hands of a skilled manipulator they can be highly entertaining until they do. It's the oldest sport in the Weave, and the only way most of our kind will ever touch the Warp.”

Episode 6 - Chapter 25

Cobbles continue to appear, followed by bricks, and pretty soon walls are climbing on either side of them. Up it comes, past their shoulders, heads, to the height of a three storey house. Looking up, they see the white turn to grey, then light blue, which darkens a little, before a cloud drifts into view, followed by a gull.

The gull caws in the silence, and it's as if somebody had just turned on the volume of the world. There's shouting and laughter, hustle and bustle, music and life, all just beyond the end of the alley that has materialised around them. Ahead of her, Fiona can see a horizon of sorts, a point where a beautiful blue sky meets a sea rippling with every colour.

The three of them step out of the alley to find themselves on a vast harbour, looking out to a rainbow ocean dotted with boats. There are boats moored to the quayside as well, as workers land their catch.

Fiona has to look twice when she sees what they're bringing ashore: huge nets full of sleeping people.

Episode 6 - Chapter 24

“There will be consequences for this,” Strauss warns, “You can mark our words on that.”

“What?” asks Fiona, “Hang on, no, I didn't mean to make a wish!”

“But you did make one,” says the Captain.

Around them, the kitchen dissolves to pure white silent space.

“This cannot be good,” Strauss comments.

“Where are we?” asks Fiona.

“We suspect we are in transition,” is the reply.

“There!” declares the Captain, pointing at his feet. Between his shoes, a single cobble has appeared. This is soon joined by a second, then a third. It's not long before so many have appeared that they're standing on a cobbled island amidst a sea of white.

Episode 6 - Chapter 23

“Yes,” agrees the Captain, “The wrong wish would be disastrous, not just for the girl.”

“Why?” asks Fiona. “What could go wrong?”

“Many things,” Strauss replies, “Many, many things. One doesn't meddle with the archetypes. Now, the wish must protect the narrative while extracting m'lady from her central role, so it must be retroactive in its effect.”

“Oh for heaven's sake,” Fiona fumes, “Why does everything round here have to be so bloody complicated. I wish I'd never come here. I wish I'd gone to, I don't know, the seaside instead.”

“Oh dear,” says the Captain, as the walls around them begin to dissolve.

Episode 6 - Chapter 22

“Well that's what I want, isn't it,” Fiona asks, “To live happily ever after?”

“With the prince, m'lady,” Strauss stresses, “In his castle, in this world.”

“Ah, not so good. So what do we do?”

“As yet, we do not know. Our knowledge of the archetypes is limited. Their Lordships discourage inquisitiveness in this matter.”

“Maybe she should make a wish,” quips Captain Bear.

“Can we try to be serious,” Fiona pleads with him. “Please? I don't want to live happily ever after here.”

“No,” says Strauss, “The Captain may have something there. A wish could be just the thing in a fairy tale. Only one problem.”

“What's that?” asks the Captain.

“We must be very sure it's the right wish.”

Episode 6 - Chapter 21

“Guys,” Fiona stresses, “We really need to get out of here. I've wasted enough time, I've got to find Raven and get the hell out of here.”

“That may be something of a problem,” Strauss replies.

Fiona pauses, with a reluctant sigh. “Why?” she asks.

“We believe,” he responds cautiously, “That we may have stumbled into a story archetype, in this case rags to riches, Cinderella.”

“That's a problem how?”

“Story archetypes play out, different versions of the same basic story, over and over, endlessly. It's partly how any semblance of order is maintained in the Weave. The same seven stories, one version after another, each in their own self-contained little bubble.”

“So what do we do?”

“We are unsure,” Strauss admits, “But somehow we have to get you out of this narrative, or you will go to the ball, and you will, we're afraid, inevitably live happily ever after.”

Episode 6 - Chapter 20

“I don't know which part of that sentence I find most disturbing,” Robert says, feeling worried. “If you're not a person, what are you? Neutralised is a very suggestive word, don't you think? And powerful? I couldn't get myself out of a field. How can I be powerful?”

“You couldn't get out of that field on your own,” Tom replies, “Because that field was a cage designed especially for you, a wake walker.”

“So you say, but I don't understand why they'd do that.”

“Wake walkers are powerful, because they bring an active, conscious imagination into the Weave, a place of pure, raw imagination. There's nothing you can't do here, once you know how.”

Episode 6 - Chapter 19

The door disappears as they step through, replaced by a row of bushes sliding into place behind them. In front of them, more rows are moving as well, as are bushes above and somehow, impossibly, below them. There is row upon row of bushes, all moving in synchronised chaos.

“Oh my word,” says the guide, suddenly recovered from his nausea. “I didn't believe this place existed.”

“Why?” Raven demands, “Where are we?”

“I thought this place was a myth,” the guide tells him, “A story invented by one of the Fears to keep us all in line. I can tell you one thing, if your girl is here, we'll never find her.”

“Why?” Raven demands again.

“I believe,” says the guide, “I believe we have found Escher's worst nightmare.”

Episode 6 - Chapter 18

“Why are you so suddenly in a hurry?” Raven asks, noticing that the guide is starting to look a little off colour.

“Being here,” the guide replies, indicating their surroundings, “Is physically unpleasant to the likes of me.” As he finishes speaking Raven watches him convulse, trying to control the impulse to vomit.

“Very well,” he says, taking the chalk from his pocket as he walks towards the wall. He quickly draws the outline of a door in the available space, adding a simple handle. “I suppose you'd better hold onto my arm if you're to accompany me.”

The guide takes hold of his arm, still struggling to control himself.

“Take us to Fiona,” Raven says as he opens the door.

Episode 6 - Chapter 17

“Do you know... who I am?” The old man repeats his question.

“No,” replies Raven, “Should I?”

“I... I don't... I don't know,” the man says, “I don't know... know... who I am either. I was... I was... I was hoping... hoping you could tell me.”

“Well we can't,” snaps the guide harshly. “But I wouldn't worry if I were you, if you're living here it doesn't matter who you are.”

“Steady on,” Raven admonishes.

“W... w... why?” stutters the old man, “Where... where am I?”

“If the Weave is a barrel,” the guide says, “Then you are at its very bottom. Now,” he turns to Raven, “There's a clear bit of wall over there, why don't you use your chalk and we can get away from here.”

Episode 6 - Chapter 16

“Lovely,” Raven quips, “And what, I wonder, passes for currency here.”

“I doubt there is much in the way of trade here,” the guide replies, “I doubt there is much of anything at all.”

The nearest stall, or at least what remains of it, begins to shake and wobble, looking like it's going to collapse. A page from an oversize book that might be acting as a door falls away. A very dishevelled old man, barely dressed in filthy rags, coughs and crawls out to totter to his feet. He looks about him, confusion hanging from his shoulders, not seeming to notice Raven or his companion for several moments. When he does, he quivers with shock for a second, then speaks.

“Do you,” he says, “Do... do you... you... do you know who I am?”

Episode 6 - Chapter 15

“Stories?” Raven asks.

“Of course,” replies the guide. “Ever since they found a way to communicate, stories have been traded. A tale told in return for supper and whatnot, that's the second oldest transaction in the world.”

The market stalls around them are beginning to look run down and shabby, many are empty, with no traders or stock. As they walk on, Raven notices they continue to decline, until some look more like piles of abandoned junk or collapsed sheds. It's not much further before the place more closely resembles some kind of shanty town. Shelters and lean-tos have been cobbled together from loose pages and covers scavenged from neighbouring stalls. Here and there Raven can see people covered in dirt, dressed in rags, just sitting and staring, sometimes mumbling with despair.

“Now this,” says the guide with a shudder, “This is the slums.”

Episode 6 - Chapter 14

“Plot?” Raven asks, as the man scurries away quickly.

“The drug of choice among the more well-to-do manifestations,” the guide replies. “Come now, it's not far to the slums.”

“Narcotics? In the Weave?”

“You know how it goes,” the guide tells him, “If it's out there in the Warp...”

“Mountain save us!”

They continue walking through the market, in silence for a while, passing stalls offering adventure or romance or, to Raven, the sky knows what. Something is bothering him, something he can't quite put his finger on.

“Tell me,” he asks the guide after a time, “What passes for currency in the market?”

“Why stories, of course,” comes the reply.

Episode 6 - Chapter 13

As they continue to walk, the market begins to seem more lively once more. The stalls are once more piled high with boxes and jars, bowls and flasks, all containing colourful liquids or sparkling gasses. One bares a sign which reads “CLICHES! Three for Two!”, while another declares “Weak Characters, Buy One Get One Free!” A third has a notice “All You Can Eat Back Story – Tell Us Yours, Gorge On Ours!”

Raven is about to comment when a black gentleman in a hoodie and low slung jeans approaches. “A'ight,” he says, “You looking to score some Plot? Mine's so pure you'll be gone for weeks.”

“What?” Raven asks, but the guide answers for them.

“We are on an errand for the author,” he tells the plot vendor, “It would be unwise to delay us unnecessarily.”

Episode 6 - Chapter 12

“How long until we reach the Black Market?” Raven asks.

“We're here,” replies the guide, “The last three or four alleys have all been part of the outskirts, but we're only just reaching the interesting parts.”

“Why didn't you tell me?”

“Why would you need to know?”

“So I'd know we were making progress; we seem to have been walking through the market for quite some time. I have pressing matters to attend to.”

“My apologies,” says the guide. “I thought it wise to take a more circumspect route through the Second Hand flea-market to avoid the Erogenous Zones. They can be ever so distracting, and a little off-putting.”

Episode 6 - Chapter 11

“The Weave has always been awash with nonsense,” Raven tells his companion, the guide. “What difference does a bit more of it make?”

“Not like this,” the guide replies. “Granted, there were some... shall we say odd, aspects to the Weave, but now there are new realms appearing in the midst of the old. Now we have lolcats on every corner, amusing gifs coming out of our ears, memes within memes, and the trolls... the trolls are beside themselves with an identity crisis.”

“Never mind the trolls,” Raven snaps, suddenly noticing the market has changed drastically. The stalls are run down, many falling apart or held together with bad repairs. Their wares have changed as well; no longer full of bright, shiny and fresh produce, now the food looks unhealthy and well past its best while everything else looks tarnished and broken. “Where are we now?” he asks.

“This,” replies the guide, “Is the Avenue of Ill-Conceived Melodrama.”

Episode 6 - Chapter 10

“Who'll want to get to me?” Robert asks. “What does it mean to be a wake walker? Where are you?”

“I'm right in front of you,” Tom replies.

“There's nothing there,” Robert says to the air in front of him.

“Do you see the sparkles?”

Robert looks closely, realising that there are motes of glinting dust hanging in the air. “Yes,” he says, “I see that.”

“As I said,” Tom replies, “I take a little time to coalesce.”

“What does that mean, how does a person coalesce?”

“You shouldn't assume I'm a person. As to your other question, all of the Fears will want you neutralised, you're just too powerful.”